Dating a guy with emotional baggage
Luckily, HC talked to collegiettes and experts to find out more about the phenomenon! At its simplest, emotional baggage is the sum of all the negative experiences you’ve had in relationships (both romantic and otherwise) that you bring with you throughout life.
“The idea is that you’re forever carrying around this metaphorical weight on your shoulders of issues from the past,” says Jasmine Ryan, a healthy relationships and dating counselor at the University of Florida.
Ryan explains that “types” of emotional baggage are extremely vague and vary in severity from person to person.
“An easy way to break down your emotional baggage is the baggage related to your romantic relationships (like a significant other or even just a fling) and your non-romantic relationships (like with family or friends).
Interested in figuring out what particular baggage you carry around?
Ryan recommends looking back at your previous relationships and seeing what went wrong.
The first step to dealing with your emotional baggage is to admit that it does exist.Until Lauren opened up to John about the abuse she suffered from her ex-boyfriend in high school, she hadn’t told anyone since she’d started college.“I felt like UF was a fresh start where people didn’t know what had happened to me when I was 15, so at first it was really hard letting that go,” she says.Lauren*, a senior at the University of Florida, found herself dealing with emotional baggage from six years prior when she began dating her boyfriend, John*.“I was in an emotionally and sometimes physically abusive relationship when I was a freshman and sophomore in high school and thought I’d finally moved past it when I got to college,” she says.